Mass Effect (PS3 2013) Review

Right, let me start with that I’ve never been a fan of Bioware. I never have played Star Wars the Old Republic or Jade Empire. I have played Dragon Age: Origins, which is why I am not a fan of this developer. I detest that game and have tried to get into it multiple times and have failed, but enough of that. Onto Mass Effect.

Mass Effect is a Sci-Fi action rpg where you play a Channing Tatum lookalike named John Shepard, although you can customize your character into someone completely different if Step Up and 21 Jump Street ain’t yo thang. You are a commander of the human alliance who on a mission stumbles upon ancient alien technology which coincides with a respected alien officer goes rogue and starts to fuck up the galaxy, and guess who has to clean this mess up? YOU. 

Now expect as with any Bioware game for there to be a lot of talking, and I mean A LOT. Now I’ve played The Witcher 3 which is infamous for excessive dialogue but I can handle that as the humour and quality of cutscenes are amazeballs, but this game takes the cake. And I don’t mean a nice victoria sponge but more like a Jamaican ginger cake or fruit loaf, yeah I can have a slice but don’t you be trying to make me scoff down the whole lot you demon! Because of this it is a very slow start with the first major world called The Citadel is literally going back and forth having the same conversations while being stuck in an elevator that feels like a lifetime getting to and from said conversations. 

Now I had a look at the trophy list, and as I deemed it not impossible to platinum I had to do it. Unfortunately this means I have to complete at least 3 playthroughs which I’m currently struggling on my 2nd currently as I want to curl up in the fetal position and suck my thumb rather than have to go through the same conversations again. 

The combat is, well, meh. I chose to be an engineer class which means I am proficient in pistols and using technical abilities such as overloading an enemy’s shield or sabotaging their weapon. This also means that I am untrained in assualt rifles, shotguns & sniper rifles. Now I wouldn’t see that as being too bad if I could train to be able to use them correctly, but no. If I do the reticle for aiming is as big as the television screen or there is no reticle at all! It is really boring being only able to use 1 type of weapon, especially as all other weapon types are much more powerful.

Now this is also a long game, and you can feel it as well, but also feels short at the same time. I had only finished the 3rd main mission world and I had a trophy pop for completing the majority of the game, hell I was near the point of no return! I had done a few side missions to be fair but damn are they repetitive. Go to planet, survey some minerals, shoot some mercenaries, shoot a non-hostile space cow because you hate life. Rinse. Repeat. I found myself turning the volume down and have repeats of Come Dine With Me on my iPhone in the background. 

One thing that is great is the story, there are a few twists that are surprising and it makes you want to carry on, no matter how painful the gameplay is. You also have a morality choice, as you can choose to be a Paragon or Renegade, not that it makes much of a difference in my personal opinion. As a Paragon, you sound like an ass. As a Renegade, you sound like more of an ass. 

To be honest I haven’t enjoyed this game very much, but it isn’t unplayable (Here’s looking at you, Dragon Age). This is the first part in a trilogy so I feel it’s my sworn duty to carry this on til the end. OH JOY. 
5/10

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